Minister’s Corner: Learn to listen

By: DR. BRIAN DORE’
Member of the VP Ministerial Alliance
As a pastor, I have had to counsel many married couples over the years whos marriage was on shaky ground. Often times, what I have found is that the couple is so busy doing this or that that they don’t take the time to really communicate. Good communication requires listening. Proverbs 18:13 KJV says, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it it is folly and shame unto him.”
Sometimes we are like the couple who were with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. Mary said, “Oh, Tom and I will never need marriage counseling. We have a great relationship. He was a communications major in college and I majored in drama. He communicates real well and I just act like I am listening.” The Bible says that if we do not listen to one another, if we answer without listening, we are fools.
Do you remember how easy it was to talk when you were dating? My goodness, you would talk about anything and everything for hours. You talked about your past, your future, your hopes and your dreams. You talked about your plans together. Now, we are often so busy that we don’t take the time to talk. We settle for leaving a short note on the table on the way out the door. When we are together, we often just pretend to listen to one another while our minds are a hundred miles away. My advice to those couples having marital problems is to learn to really listen to one another. Turn off the TV. Put down the newspaper, talk and listen.